One lost soul

I didn’t have any respite yet; as I walked back to my flat, feeling a potential explosion inside. It was already dark when I left my room for a walk; to get away from my gloomy state I was in that Sunday evening; and in the hope that fresh air might do the trick.

I walked towards the main street with a heavy heart and glum face, hoping that a few more step could help me regain my composure. It was one of those moments when my mind was a silent spectator as I could sense that I absolutely had no thoughts whatsoever. Though, my heart was in a capricious state. While the subconscious me kept walking down the main street, I came to senses by a near miss accident as I was about to be run over by two parallel running cars. For safety, I came off the main street and tried to gather my thoughts.

In next few minutes my mind started functioning and I could make out few reasons for this hibernation i.e. what my status was. I realized that a tensed mind is a far better situation then a lost soul. I knew that I was manipulating human behaviors; anger, frustration and loneliness- yes, these are mounting inside me by every passing day. I couldn’t throw them out, neither could I share. And most of the time it seemed inappropriate or immature to pour this depression to someone else. On top of this, belonging to youth fraternity has its own disadvantage. Self- centered, impatience and materialistic nature - these comes as by product. So by this context I had to suppress my desire and interest too, under the bricks of expectations, responsibility and sacrifice.

Though I was reluctant to listen to this inner selfish me, but somewhere deep down I had sympathy with it too. I was having so much in my heart to say, but nothing but a silence in return. And silence as I have learned to live with; I admit, is a lost companion itself. It just helps in keeping you isolated when you are a depressed soul and an agitated mind. Silence is no remedy. And to me, it is nothing but a speed breaker or a comma which keeps a talk or exchange of words in suspending state. It helps avoiding conflicts but does even worse; it makes one pretend that nothing happened and tries to put a lid on one’s volcanic state of mind. People might say It’s a better then “practically no communication” but what we don’t know is that the silence slowly starts growing inside us and sometime gets bigger than us and our relationships.

Rest …...later…….as I am still learning to live with it, in the hope to fight and win over it.

Farewell

I woke up today and sensed mixed feelings hovering around me.  As I switch gears in my professional life today, waves of nostalgia stirred and then engulfed my mind for few minutes and I lost deep in thoughts. Thoughts - about the place, the people and the time spent together.  

I sat down to write my good bye mail to colleagues and in due course realized that every good thing should end to make the experience a memorable one. One should must move on to newer and greater thing in life. And even though no matter how much we resist the change, it’s the only constant thing in life. With these feelings my thought became subtle as I could realize.    

To meet n depart is d way of life. But to depart n meet is d hope of life. We meet to create memories, but we depart to preserve it.

And to all such minds who share the same sentiments, here are the words of wisdom:

A farewell is necessary before we meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.

Cheers!

Birthday wishes !

Like million stars in the sky

I wish the stars in your twinkling eyes be always shining.

Those pictures of you, which speak thousand words

and capture the most dramatic yet cutest expression of yours,

Will remind you of the mischief you used to do, when you turn 60.

And might pause you for a moment to go deep down the memory lane

to make you feel - you are still the same person.

A person whom I have adored since the day I knew

and luckily got a chance to be friend with.

To those dimpled smiles and endless giggles that made you look cuter

To that act of twisting your tongue out

To that sweet voice in which you whisper just after waking up

To all that attitude you shown me at times

To those cute little acts on which I melted like a butter

and to many of those things which I can’t simply describe in words...Cheers!

And here is wishing a very happy Birthday to my favorite star.

Happy Birthday Dear !!!