Remembering you !

Please don’t go, I can’t bear this separation

Wait! Are you really far, or is it just an illusion?

I see pain in you, when you being rude or practical

you may try to hide; I know it wasn’t intentional.

You may pretend that you don’t care anymore

you think, you can fool me, just like your sweet allure?

You may expect otherwise, but I can’t hate you

no matter how hard I try, yes I still miss you.

Though, I hate to love you, everyday and still

is it your affection, or just me against my will.

It hurts when you can’t accept me in your world now

for what we had was bliss, magic, simple yet how.

I am confused, will it make easier if I just lie

should I listen to you, alas I can't let you die.

Why you have such a big heart, don’t you sink

for you love me and tell me not to, and just wink

I know how tougher it makes for you to resist

When you weep inside, pretend and just insist.

Sorry for how weak I am making your resolve

I can’t help it but to let myself dissolve.

This hope is all I have, after your sustained denials

that you may change your mind after several trials.

Please forgive me for I have loved you, but couldn't selflessly

the reason why, I simply can’t let you go easily.

Night long thoughts, your memories, the endless race

Come soon, for I am waiting, Oh my grace!

Random frames of human nature

A foreword - Please forgive me for my random, unplanned and illogical flow in this post, as the way life is sometimes - hazy, weird and restless. And this is me trying to recall and put together few thoughts, feelings, observations and hard learning.

Life doesn’t treat us same always; while there are spring and autumn, there is dark cold winter too. But then, that’s life. It has its own way of making us realize worth of everything (or everyone) it gives or snatches away from us.

There is nothing complex than a human behavior. Recollecting some random frames I could capture, and an attempt to look at them from a critic point of view.

Glorifying problems: We all crib about our problems. Be it health, job, relationship, situations or wherever we found circumstances not favorable to us. Yes, we are human and we do have our share of problems and issues.  Sometimes we brave them, but mostly, we crib. Surprisingly, to human, what becomes more painstaking than the problem itself is, when others don’t pay much attention to our problems? Everyone has problems in life. True, Life is not a path full of roses. Still, human tendency is to glorify pain and suffering as a unique feat just as victories and achievements. We feel getting consoled and healed if get listened to. No, there is nothing wrong in sharing or discussing problems, but it just start getting worse when the intention behind it is to gain sympathy. In due course, we weaken our inner strength and loose the fighting spirit. Quite a common phenomenon it is, however still, human are pretty obsessed with it. And strangely enough, it is like an addiction. Once you are habituated, you really need to get a recharge of extreme will and positive minds – a rare commodity amidst difficult times.  

Expectations: Our expectations in every walk of life, a strange human behavior. It’s weird but human mind sometime gets obsessed with it. Most of the time it has a strong base on which it grows. More the expectation, more the anxiety. Though, unlike software versions, any upgradation in real life is non reversible, atleast not acceptable easily. Be it life style and your experience with job, relationships etc. Once you have seen best of these it is difficult to accept the degradation. The culprit here is expectation which sets itself at the uppermost level one achieves in life on every front. To be more elaborative - a good work environment, great friend circle and a loving companion and money off course. We need best of everything and are disappointed if expectations are not met on any front

Relationship: Sometime in movies, couple separates because, lack of effervescence in their relationship. They would show, how after an awesome living, comes a time of cribbing, quarrel, conflicts and most awkwardly silence. It is also true that no matter how much hard you try to put things back together, there would be something lacking. In times like this, even the grey shades starts creeping up - anger, frustration and ego. In situations like these, time seems to be the best healer. Parting a distance works to get closer later.    

Response to Change: Strange but how contextual treatment change gets from people. It is never taken in same way always. People might read all sort of motivational books on how one should not get affected by change and adjust fast to it. At the same time anything monotonous seems to kill people, especially in job and day to day life. People mould their likeliness towards it according to need.  Hence, while on one hand a trip or long vacation is all one look for to get a change(read break) from routine life, it is not a desirable  thing when one  is in his/her comfort zone, especially with job, location, friends and food. We don’t accept a change in these things easily and it takes us a long time to adjust.   

Though human nature is quite difficult to understand, it’s the most beautiful and intelligent creation of God. We posses these complex behaviors and can still live with them.  I am no different from others.

First summer rain

Seeing the pleasant whether outside I couldn’t deny the possibility of an early rain. I decided to leave office a bit early. Just when I was walking out of security gate, few tiny water drops fell on my cheek. I looked up towards the sky and found dark clouds hovering over. Few more steps and it stared drizzling. I thought, I could be safe only when I board the bus as it would be the air conditioned and hence completely glass shielded. I started running towards the bus stop to catch my bus. Suddenly, a pleasant aroma stuck my nostril and I stopped running. I stood there to recollect this familiar odour and didn’t took me long to recollect that it was the odour of thirsty soil after first few drops of summer rain. I looked around and found people running towards bus stop to get shelter. However, I could walk only in slow motion, mesmerized by that aroma and changing colour of soil as drops grew heavier.


I boarded the bus and hooked from the window seat to watch the probable rain and changing nature closely. Staring outside from that glass window I felt closer to the nature for the first time in this city full of pollution and traffic jams now. My otherwise volatile thoughts evaporated. All I could see was rain, clouds, wet roads and happy people. And the thought became subtle - with idea of getting wet in rain and then spending the evening with someone close.

Below are the thoughts I was sharing the window seat with, on that amazing experience of witnessing first drizzling in summer. Please excuse me for my rhyming :-) I am not good at it.

Oh, drops of first summer rain!

Pleasant aroma of drenched soil

there is eavesdropping on glass window

and music is striking chord within my soul

Oh, drops of first summer rain!

It couldn’t have been a better soothing effect

Dancing tree are expressing their gratitude

and sun is peaking from dark clouds once again

Oh, drops of first summer rain!

You felt like melted crystal from heaven

Is it God’s way of purifying our heart

Or washing away grief and sin.

Oh, drops of first summer rain!

Please become mightier and come again! 

Though, drops didn’t grow heavier and it only drizzled, this first sight of rain in summer was enough to cheer up everyone. The rain also inspired me to have forgiveness and to see life in a new and fresh perspective.